How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
