so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
