Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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