I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
