Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
