I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
