Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
