Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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