My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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