It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize