My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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