so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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