I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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