He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
