last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
