Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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