I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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