My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
