haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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