Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
