Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
