if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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