the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think people are normalizing furries
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
