After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
