i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
