My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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