I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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