My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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