I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
