He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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