We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
