it wasn't lemon gatorade
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
worst night to have a conscience
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
