Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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