I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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