Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize