First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
