is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
