Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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