And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
