Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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