You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I can text with my tongue
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
