I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
