are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
