Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
