Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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