There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
