i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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