I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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