how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
