I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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