I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
