All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't think brook has ever known best
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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