she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
