Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
