Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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