is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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