She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
