it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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