Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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