My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
