i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize