found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
