I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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