Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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