They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
