Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
