Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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