all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
