Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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