i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
