Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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