Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
